Bulletstorm

Drawing rules:
You write in comments the most funny story that happened to you and add a positive with a beautiful girl or girls.

The draw is up to 20.00 in Moscow
The winner receives a licensed activation key and distribution of the BulletStorm game for his soap.

P.WITH. To the future winner will be a request to take screenshots of the game itself and put them in this topic.
2 games are added to the draw: Memento Mori and wolfhound. The revenge of a gray dog.

KNOOKER receives BulletStorm

StalkerLEGEND receives MEMENTO MORI

Endfimov receives a wolfhound. The https://nonukonlinecasinos.uk/review/winit-casino/ revenge of a gray dog

Winners request write their email postal addresses in drugs.

The next draw in a month. Witcher 2 will be played out. Kings killers. Digital Premium, witcher. Full edition, Dragon Age: Beginning. Standard edition

The best comments

In short, I somehow in the toilet. I’m sitting, sitting, and suddenly the snake from the toilet crawls out and begins to viciously hisses so “shchshshsh”. I tell her: “I will give those shchsh, bastard, senior.
The moral of the whole fable is this – Oleg Petrovich, you are grass!

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I work as a system administrator, and I do not often have to answer such questions.
– Hello this is the fifth site, we have a problem when connecting to the server.
– Read more.
– I click on the values, and I have a window, it requires a password. Where do I get it?
– Take it from a text file called “Access”.
– And how to expand or open it?
– Mouse.
– Mouse?
– Yes, mouse.
– senseless to press him with a mouse?
– Yes, as you usually open folders or documents.
– What folders? I do not open the folder with the mouse.
– Listen, woman, you are sitting at the computer for the first time for the first time?
– Yes, today the employee fell ill, I was replaced.
– Then sorry, your working day is over.
– We have installed you a program to track your activity on the Internet. Please indicate on the sheet the necessary password and login for entering.
– Oh, the program, what other password for entering?
– On the Internet.
– So I just start the red badge and start the Internet.
– Now you have to enter it and the login with a password.
– For what? It will not be convenient for me to go to classmates and sit in my world.
– That’s why the director wants you to have inconvenience at the same time.
– Ah, director, and the password can be any?

– I don’t print the printer, come here.
– And who is it?
– dispatch, I don’t print the printer.
– Stand, you don’t have a printer ..
– How not, they came to put it yesterday, installed, and they said you can now print.
– Who installed? What I installed? You can do more.
– Well, Alexander came, installed, said you can print.
-Wait a minute, you didn’t even have a computer where the printer was where the printer?
-Well, yes, now I have a computer and a printer, and for some reason the printer does not print.
– Okay, there is paper in it? No windows light up on the right? Notifications, a red indicator does not burn on the printer?
– They didn’t give me paper, but since Sasha says that you can print, then he loaded paper there. And the green indicator blinks often, after a certain time.
– What?!
– Well, damn it, come already and look.
P.S.: As it turned out, the monitor is a computer, and the system unit is a printer. It’s scary to think where the paper. And the partner meant to print documents in Microsoft Word.

Great August evening, about 18-00. I woke up from the fact that my dog ​​licked my face and squeaked a little bit. On the eve, there was some kind of party, with the amount of alcohol not compatible with life. Opened his eyes, the dog continued his occupation. I had a light, not obsessive hangover.
It was expressed, in partial paralysis of half my body, t.e. right hand and right leg, did not obey my brain. And also I, deaf and left eye, stopped seeing. If I even wanted to say something at this moment, I would have the maximum that happened, this is:
– Ahhh …uuu …GGG …
In the eyes of my dog, I realized that if, in the next 5 minutes, I will not take him to the street, to the smell of my fumes, the smell of his Gomn.
I threw a denim jacket (which will later play a notorious role) and fell out into the street. It was Sunday. You someday have tried to walk with your hand and foot completely subject to your desires? I crawled to the stall. Gestures showed that I need two beers. One of which was destroyed instantly.
And life, then it is getting better … and therefore it was decided to go, for a walk to the Botanical Garden. It’s twenty minutes walk. And here I am in place, dogs, people, evening, warm … I tried to find a secluded corner to calmly drink the second bottle of beer, and my dog ​​could calmly drive. What to do in the Botanical Garden on Sunday is simply not possible.
Either beer, or yesterday’s party, it’s hard to say now. But my body experienced the first wave. People someday crossed you a rink? I moved that day. He ran over my head and slowly began to move towards his feet. The only place through which everything that the skating rink was moving. There was my ass. Cold sweat covered my whole body in an instant. My ass, asked me:
– Hey, brother, maybe we will build up?
And at the same moment, the wave went on decline and disappeared altogether. Here is a man, well, it’s clear to a fool, you have to go home quietly. But on the other hand, everything has passed, life is beautiful.
And so, I leaned against the tree and lit.
The second wave came like a hurricane. Sharply, powerfully, she tried to squeeze out of me everything in one fell swoop. I even grunted my mine. Cold sweat for the second time in the evening covered my body. I did not just want to shit, I realized that, either I am now in the city, or I must plug the ass with a finger. The second wave smoothly decline ..
I lit a cigarette again … the dog gnawed peacefully a stick, I was fine. But then, then the alarming notes originated in my brain … but whether to go home? But the second bottle of beer in my jacket, cigarettes and a wonderful evening, drove this thought very far. My right half of my body, I began to recover, I began to hear with two ears.
The third wave came like a tsunami.
My ass, she didn’t ask me anything, she just shouted:
– And now the guy, let’s get shit. She did not ask, but claimed.
My eyes got out of the orbits, in my opinion, even my tongue fell out of my mouth. With titanic efforts, squeezing my semi -drift and reducing my knees together, I realized that I have a maximum of three minutes, I could not stand it anymore. Having fastened the dog to the leash, I rushed, just where my eyes looked. People, you someday, tried to run with tightly compressed semi -pods and knees reduced together? I ran and dragged a dog behind me.
Having run about thirty meters, I realized that in that direction where I rush, I could not repare. And so, I sharply changed the direction and ran the other way. To navigate on the ground interfered, what tried to get out of me. When I glanced briefly at the dog, which flew behind me without touching the ground with paws. Then in her eyes there was only one question:
-Master, what are you pussy to run so fast?
The pressure in the ass reached critical parameters.
I already had everything dick. I was ready, just sit down and shit where I stood. But my upbringing did not allow me to do this. T -shirt stuck to my body.
Forces began to leave me. I practically saw my ass began to open. My consciousness disappeared, only wild instincts remained. And oh, a miracle … a small meadow, covered from eyes with bushes. How quickly I took off my pants … I did it, by the mighty, not embarrassed and without thinking about anything. I had a wild stomach disorder.
You probably know, a dog one hundred and more than a human sense of smell. My dog, strangely led his nose and very confidently headed for my ass. But, having received two blows with a fist in the face, I realized that this is not his best solution.
– Oh, who is so beautiful here ..
I’m almost fucking. I almost blurted out that I am beautiful.
Right in the direction of my place of Zaser, there was a very nice creation of female, with French bulldog.
I had only two options left.
1. In 2 seconds, wipe the ass, put on pants and appear in all its glory. But my ass gave me hints that the process is far from at the stage of completion.
2. Keep in this position. Pretend that I just squatted down.
I chose the second option. Throwing a jacket on your feet in one motion. I stayed to sit!
“And you have a boy or a girl, otherwise I forgot my glasses at home and I don’t see,” said the pelotka approaching me.
“I have, Maaaaalchik,” I squeezed out. I did not control my ass, we lived at that moment different lives.
I pay these lines and cry. How hard it is to shit in front of a pretty girl, while pretending to squat. My dog ​​is briskly played with a bulldog named Musya. Well, how could Bulldog Musey be called?
“Oh, you know, we recently moved here and we have no friends,” Deushka said.
Wait, I will, I will get off and become a friend to you, I swept away my head.
– Who has it with Vaaaaas, – fucking my ass will come to me now.
“So we have Musey,” the girl giggled.
My legs stuck. There was a tenth minute of the conversation. That’s the only way she would not change her position, otherwise she will immediately see my naked ass and that, under the ass, and there was something to see. During the whole conversation, I felt like from the ass constantly small portions, Gomno pours out.
– Oh, and you go to exhibitions?- Grounded the creation.
“Hoooiodiaimm,” I groaned.
– Oh, how interesting, tell us,- the creation of the creation innocently clapping his eyes sang.
Fucked, it’s just fucked up, I’m a short -haired girl, and she also asks me to tell me how we go to exhibitions.
– Well, we, the champions of Khronaaaayyyyy– a couple more of such sounds and she will think that I am not good. But I’m really not very good. There is a twentieth minute of the conversation. She chirping about how she feeds and educates mousse, and I am a little.
I stopped feeling my legs. I tried to put one of them a little forward, I did not really like the idea, because I almost fell into my Gomno. It’s time to stop it all, but just how. Say that I have been lined now and I need to wipe the ass and after that we will continue our sweet conversation? No, the option has disappeared.
– My name is Angela, and you are like?- The girl said.
You still extend my hand to me, for handshake.
– And me Saaaaashshaaa,- fucked up, my ass finally decided to spoil this idyll.
-I’m walking, in the morning at 10-00 and in the evening at 19-00, see how your dog plays with mine, write down my phone, let’s walk together,-creeps creation.
To be honest, I really wanted to send her to a dick in a place with Musey, but I climbed into my jacket pocket, and honestly began to record her phone. Fucked up, took off the girl when the gee gee gee. Then I was no longer laughing ..
My ass itself made, then the nasty sound that it probably won’t work to describe it. But, most likely, it was like a wet, intermittent, booming farting, with interspersed sound of a falling, liquid hom. I tried to hide these sounds behind my cough. Maybe the girl did not understand anything, but Musya, clearly caught the direction of these sounds. Musya spent slowly, right to me. My bitch, the dog, lay for himself and nibbled a stick.
There was only one thing in my thoughts, how to drive mousse. If it comes a little closer, then it will certainly catch the subtle smell of my bowel movements, and then, Musya will definitely decide to find out the nature of the origin of these aromas. The ass again made a sound, I didn’t drown out anything, I just sat, listened to the girl’s chirping and waited for my fate.
Musya carefully walked past me, went to my ass. I don’t know what she did there, but I clearly felt the hot breath of Musi, right near my ass, I wanted to cry. But Musya went much further, Musya began to lick my ass, anus itself. A thought flew in my head. If Musya licks my ass, then it costs at least a waist in my shit. Here, I was completely fucking, I just imagined the appearance of this musi when she finishes licking my ass.
The hostess of Musi continued to babble about the problems of raising dogs, feeding and dressing, Musya continued to lick my ass, and I just cursed and cried ..
And it was precisely in this paradise idyll that the moment of truth has come.
The fourth wave of focusing was like the ninth shaft.
I could no longer control, neither myself nor my ass. I didn’t even try to restrain this wave. I got the impression that at that moment I escaped a kilogram of two homes of Musya at that moment, grunted strangely and calmed down. I didn’t even sweat, I just waited.
– Musya, Musya, girl come to me,- the hostess was alarmed.
And before, bitch, you could not call your dog, in the fog flashed through my head.
When I saw Musya, I realized that all the fears that I had previously experienced were just a childish babble.
Musya moved a strange zigzag, constantly stumbled upon sticks and branches. At the same time, she made sounds, some wet cough and sles. When Musya passed me by, I was just fucking. I completely opened Musa, from head to toe, I fired all the muse, eyes, ears, mouth, nose and generally the whole body. It was a big piece of Gomn on bully legs ..
You had a white dog. But now you have it brown. You forgot glasses at home. What will you do?
Correctly you take her in your hands in order to determine, strange changes in the color of your favorite. The mistress of Musi, took her in her arms …
Damn, Angela was a test cap.
My girlfriend ^_ ^

A purely life example: I saw a very cool game in one of the streams and bought, and the next day in Steam there was a discount on it 75%

Oh my god, as I recall)) it becomes so funny, although there is nothing like that) it was a matter of recently February, I was sitting at home in g.Nyagan (Khanty-Mansi Autonomous Okrug-Yugra), and on this day I had a train at 17.25 in St. Petersburg, where I am studying and I will live in the future.
Carried away by posting photos in contact and other household chores, I did not notice how the time of departure was suitable. Mom was worried as always: “Dima, let’s see the time of departure!»Well, I looked and answered:” Mom, everything is fine, departure at 17.50 … This was the whole point … The train is going for exactly a day … And I watched the time of arrival in Yekaterinburg (then another 1 train, to St. Petersburg already).
In 17.15 We began to gather to go out.Mom once again asked to check the tickets. I checked … and talk … at 25mn … and stupidly, grittedly giggled. And how it broke from a place. Mother began to dial a taxi service number, but there were no cars in the 1st out of 5 cars … At that time I was already on the street with a bag and a fried chicken in a bag and caught a wheelbarrow. I went to one … I didn’t go, I ran on … but there’s less and less time … I’ll be late in any way … I found a pizza delivery car)))) I persuaded the driver to take it to the station (I pay 2 times more). Well, we went. To the station 2 minutes, a friend calls and says that the train has already started. PF … tin … began to break the driver to catch up with the train … I persuaded, we drove to the nearest settlement.Vniergan 35 km from Nyagani. At this time, there was little interesting from actions … since we went in a car (I did not take my mother, I quickly in a wheelbarrow and did not wait for her). All the most interesting was in my head … it seems to be 18 years old … But I was worried, in my mind, scrolling all the situations … and they were so no rainbow. The fact is that in the first years of study, one tail hung on me and I went earlier to come to St. Petersburg directly to the exam … We have everything tough with them … I had to pass with the 1st retake, otherwise there will be problems … I began to think that and how … how to take it away, to take new ones … But the Yekaterinburg-Piter train only every other day … and the tickets are not cheap tickets themselves..(from Nyagan to St. Petersburg 3500-4000k). I sat and mentally drove our car for pizza delivery. Come on, come on … And I looked at the watch … this is a terrible occupation)) Know that you are late … And every minute flies away at double speed … I was terribly nervous … my head began to prepare me for the army (stupidly, they would not have expelled me anyway, but the brain did not think about it), the heat had seriously quarreled with my parents (with my father) (with my father). And if I arrived home, being late for the train … I would have buried it alive XD! So the only thing I had to pray and believe in the best. If this is possible, since in Vnygan, the delivery of pizza did not know where the station was located ..

I look at the clock, it seems we are doing it, we are already driving up to Vonyagan. But yours is! Where is the station … let’s go, while we saw the 1st person … 2 minutes passed. (a lot of time then) … we were shown where to go … only we drive up … The train started off! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! We were late for half a minute. I say drill, cry 1000r, Vezi to Panting-Part. a item where the train costs only 1 minute … We don’t know the road … We went along the one that was considered correct … only 9km, go next to the railway, but by the winter road … who does not know what is the road, drive into Google) it was terrible … stupidly go to the bugs. 1 time almost flew out of the road even … Dad calls, mom already told him that I was late (and he was at work). -“Well, you know who you are. ”
– Yes, dad, I know ..
In the remaining 3 minutes, I listened to the whole truth about me. ) The driver, meanwhile, did not lose time, called his friends … He was told that you would not have time, but if the oncoming train will go, then instead of our minute we will stand 3 minutes. And you know, I was finally lucky! This chance fell on the oncoming train … We roll up to the Panttyng station-this is only 1 one-story wooden house, where 1 duty and lives)) the train is worth it, I don’t, I’m curling the money right in the driver (once with a bag and chicken, at all pairs, I fly to the train to the train. I run up to the car, I start to hammer. Do not open. Then a woman comes out of the house and says, like won, look, they open you. I looked around, saw that they opened the door in the next wagon … I ran there … I just jumped without having to understand anything, the train went … Thank you very much to a friend who saw me in a car through the window and told the conductor to go and open the door, they would not open it, so they would not open it. ) Well, of course … I worked out the kosar without problems … all my emotions do not even convey. Even on the train I sat and could not believe that here! I! caught up! Everything is fine. After half an hour, I calmed down … And a fried chicken and a bottle of beer, stocked by a friend, were waiting for me forward ..

It was when he studied in a techno at the first year. There was an interim test in biology. My nearby classmate (in the future – K) did not have a pen, he asked the teacher a pen, but she only had red. I had to write to him a red pen. The test work itself was 20 questions, among which we were with the possibility of choosing an answer option and such questions, the answer to which it was necessary to write to yourself. At the time when it was necessary to take work, almost nothing was written. Such as he was a good half of the group, the teacher gathered from all the work, took the pen, put the work on the table. Suddenly someone called her on her cell phone. She answered the call, heading towards leaving the audience. She was not a minute … two … three … the longer she was not, the more we understood that we had to correct our situation. One person looked out of the audience, so to speak, stood in the shuher. We rushed to the teacher’s table, and, oddly enough, the answers lay under our work. Everyone safely finished the missing answers to questions, and the comrade to prescribe his answers with a friend’s handle. Everyone sat in their places, the teacher was not for a long time. She came only at the end of the couple. Looking at her table, on which everything was not so before her departure, with her formidable gaze, she made us understand that she realized what we were doing here in her absence. There were about fifteen minutes left until the end of the couple and she decided to scroll through these works. She stopped her gaze to work to … and laughed.) Showing us, we also laughed. It was foolish to prove to her that we did not add anything when she was not. I had to write work again, and all because of one person who just forgot his pen. Fortunately, smart classmates (including me) thought of photographing answers to the phone, just in case. So for the second time everything went more smoothly.

I hope you liked the story.